A new beginning for me, myself, and I…

This is a beautiful and powerful poem written by my colleague, Antonniese “Toni” Cobbs.

After the torment, a new beginning…

Lost in myself, searching deep for an escape

It’s a tormenting session of exhausting, mental rape

How can I be free when I’m caged and locked in thought?

A slave to my mentality, how did I let myself get caught?

I need a breakthrough from these chains of despair

Holding on to the lonely times when no one was there

Forgetting that happiness truly does exist

A psychological suicide becoming harder to resist

My mind misted and fogged, clouded by dejection

Looking in life’s mirror and hating the reflection

Can’t see a way out because darkness surrounds me

What is positive when negativity constantly hounds me

Praying seems hopeless; I really need some clarity

Begging for some help, I’ve become my own charity

I try to silence the madness that dances in my head

Vivid dreams of total chaos become bolder instead

What’s happening to me, when did I lose control?

I’ve got to break free from this dastardly hold

Wrapped in my own straight jacket, lunacy ensues

Paid my debt to society but to myself I’m overdue

When did this all happen, how did it come to be?

I got lost from myself because of what you said to me

I gave your words power and fed to you my soul

Let you bend and twist me into your shapeless mold

Stole my identity, you are charged with theft

Picked at all the pieces of me and discarded what was left

Slandered me and slaughtered me at every single turn

Put me at the top of your hate list to destroy and burn

Your success, immeasurable, tearing me away from me

But it is I who gave you power and complete authority

Drawing strength from my weakness you thrived in every way

You’ve changed my tomorrow; there’s no hope for me today

As I sit down writing this, my truths are being revealed

Since I let you abuse me, then it has to be my choice to heal

Cleansing starts with prayer; prayer starts with faith

God’s love, everlasting, has no expiration date

For in Him I am made whole, He makes me complete

His love makes me great, your slander can’t compete

So I’m casting out my demons, casting out doubt

Tired of this dismal path, I seek a different route

I’m going to trust in God. He’ll make my pathway straight

The time for healing is now; I know it’s not too late

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